JOURNEY TO A HAPPY, HEALTHY HOME
Wives - Meeting Your Husband’s Needs
INTRODUCTION:
A. Tonight
we will be continuing our series entitled “Journey to a Happy, Healthy
Marriage.”
1. There
are two parts to the lesson:
a. The
lesson tonight is aimed at helping wives understand some areas that might need
to be worked on to help their husbands feel more like the man of the house and
loved by their wives.
b. Next
week we will look at how husbands might improve their marriages by showing them
some areas that might need work to help their wives feel more loved and
appreciated.
2. These
lessons are by no means meant to be an all inclusive look or infallible.
3. These
are general principles that if put in place can make a bad marriage good and a
good marriage better.
4. In the passage
from Ephesians concerning husbands and wives Paul writes
a. Eph 5:21 Submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
b. The Message states it
this way, Out of respect for Christ, be
courteously reverent to one another.
c. Of course he is speaking of Christians, of which those
who marry are both to be.
5. We
are to live out the words found in Phil
2:3-4, Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others
(husbands or wives) more important than yourselves. Care about them as much as
you care about yourselves. (CEV) (Contemporary English Version)
B. So
how are we to do this? When it comes to making relationships
what they ought to be, God is the specialist.
1. He
sent His only Son to mend the broken relationship between Himself and us caused
by our sin.
2. So
if we want to know how to have good relationships, in general, and in our
marriage specifically, we should go to Him and His word.
3. James 1:5 states, If any
of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and
upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
C. Lets
begin by having prayer asking God to help us examine our relationships with the
desire and intent of making our marriage s all they can be in Christ.
PRAY
Our author gives four general areas of consideration
beginning with
I. SHOW HIM
ADMIRATION, Ephes. 5:33B Nevertheless
let every …wife see that she reverence her husband.
A. The
word translated “reverence” was often used for “fear” often brought about by
amazement
1. As used in this place is speaks about respect
2. Higle gives an observation which speaks to
his point, “a man is attracted to woman who admires him and is repelled by any
woman who belittles him.”
3. Sounds like common sense, but how often do
wives belittle their husbands, especially in public situations?
B. 3 Ways in which a wife can show admiration
for her husband
1. Seek His Advice
a. I know many who would say – I don’t need his
advice, but they are missing the point, its not about their needs!
b. A
husband likes to know that his wife values his opinions and abilities
1) A wife could ask his opinion concerning her
clothing, glasses, the way something is set up in the house, etc.
2) She could ask for help concerning a problem
at work – being open for other options that might surface.
2. Give Him Your Attention
a. Your attention can be seen in the things you
speak to him about and how you say them acknowledge his honesty, integrity,
resourcefulness, etc.
b.
Look for opportunities to draw attention to your husband’s positive
qualities: both in private and public
- Eph 4:29 states Let no corrupt communication proceed out
of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may
minister grace unto the hearers.
c. A man who hears that his wife speaks well of
him will want to come home and hug her, however if all he hears is negative
concerning him the opposite will become true.
3. Give Him Appreciation (the text used in the
hand out is taken out of context so we will press on using a different one)
a. The word has close association to
thankfulness
b. Let your husband know that you appreciate,
that you are thankful, for his willingness to work to meet the needs of the
family.
c.
Whatever the job, if it is honest work with the intent to meet the
families needs.
d. Express your thankfulness in many other ways
and for other things as well.
e.
We are going on to the third area of
consideration in your handout. You need to
II. SATISFY HIS SEXUAL APPETITE, 1 Cor 7:3-5
Husbands and wives should be fair with each other about having sex. A
wife belongs to her husband instead of to herself, and a husband belongs to his
wife instead of to himself. So don't refuse sex to each other, unless you agree
not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then
Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (CEV)
A.
Men often have a greater desire for the sexual aspect of the marriage
union.
1.
So for a marriage to be happy and to keep the mind & heart of a man
united to his husband it is necessary for the two of them to have a healthy sex
life.
2.
Let me say up front that there is never a sinless excuse for a man to
commit adultery & the lack of sexual activity within a marriage does not
force a man to make a decision to go outside the union.
3.
However, Paul made it very clear that if sex is withheld it gives room
for the Devil to make a play for the heart of a man through the medium of
another woman (this can include pornography).
B.
Appendix One, Secrets to Satisfying Sex, which you have attached to your
lesson provides 5 things to think about
1.
Number 1 – Don’t let your children sleep with you
2.
Number 2 – Men SLOW down
3.
Number 3 - Be spontaneous and creative
4.
Number 4 - Good sex cannot make a bad relationship good
5.
Number 5 - Learn to talk openly and honestly about your sex life with
your mate.
A third thing
that needs to happen within the relationship is that wives need to
III. STEP INTO HIS PLAY GROUND
A.
After God had made the earth and all its creatures he said everything
was good except that Adam did not have a mate.
1. In Genesis
2:18 we have recorded the words of God, And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I
will make him an help meet for him.
2.
God saw fit to bring one along side of Adam, to be involved in the
things God had given him to do.
3.
She was to be one with him
B. Now most of you ladies out there know men
like to do things together.
1.
Most men are not loners; they
like to fish together, hunt together, play sports together, do creative
projects together, work on cars together.
Get my drift?
2.
IF you want to be a part of his life, which you said you did when you
got married then you need to be involved in some things he likes to do.
3.
Make the effort to find something you can do together.
-
For example, after quite a few years of marriage Denise decided to sit down and
watch a football game with me – now she likes it and we can do it together.
C. Now I can here some spiritual wife saying,
“Doesn’t Ephesians say that the husband is to be willing to give up even his
life for me?”
1.
Yes it does, but if that is your attitude that is full of pride and
selfishness, both of which god tells us to get rid of.
2.
This is why it is so important that we be willing to submit to one
another!
Now we come
to the last item in the lesson
IV. STAY ATTRACTIVE FOR HIM
A.
If you read Proverbs 31 you
will find that a woman is to have an inner beauty and outer beauty.
1.
What is meant by this statement is that she is not to just let herself
go.
2.
when you look at the old sitcoms – leave it to beaver for example we see
the idea in play
- Now I’m not saying you need to get all decked
out for him everyday as he gets home, but it does not hurt to look good.
- I sort of chucked at one thing Tommy Higle
said, “this does not mean that a wife has to look like a beauty queen, but on
the other hand, she does not have to look like she just rose from the dead.”
B. Now many things can enter into the equation.
The one addressed in the study guide was dress.
1. Prov
31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and
purple.
2.
She made the attempt to look nice.
3.
Let me take a moment to say a quick word about modesty in public (to
which the scriptures speak also in 1
Tim 2:9), - I believe Proverbs 31 speaks to it as well.
- As I read the Fox News on the internet I came
across an article about a young
-
The mall had received numerous complaints from wives that she was
disturbing their shopping experience because their husbands were “checking her
out”
4.
Now I’m not going to get in on either side of that controversy, but
ladies you don’t want to be dressing for the purpose of getting “checked out.”
5. The only person you ought to be dressing for
like that is your husband!
C.
Other things that could be addressed are the inward things that make a
woman attractive to her husband.
1.
The author gives a list to think about and look into.
2.
Take the opportunity to do so.
CONCLUSION:
A.
Having a good marriage takes work – sometimes hard work.
1.
But it is worth everything you put into it
2.
In fact, the more you put into it, the better it will be!
B.
Ladies, think on these things and ask God for the wisdom to be the wife
He wants you to be – you could not be better than that.